Wednesday, December 31, 2008

NatioNaL

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:Maggi Mee.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:Traffic Jam.
NATIONAL CONDOM:None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rush into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:Pineapple
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:Stout. Many swear by it.But after a few pints they startswearing at everything.. .
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):Food Poisoning.
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, period, haven't removed make-up, haven't had a shower, no water supply, going to watch 'Desperate Housewives', depressed, no mood, etc...
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:None. Malaysian men never refuse sex. (oh ya??)
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:Panadol. The 'cure for all'. If it fails we have another secret weapon;Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):Happy Hours.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):The sight of a police roadblock. NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!On second thought, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when the local mechanics say 'Pew Jeot'. When I was in school, Milo was always 'MeeLo', now that I'm sophisticated, I say 'My Lo'. So don't be embarassed saying 'Carry 4' when the ! Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as 'rangootan'.
NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION:The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes 'bouncing' about on the streets.

2 comments:

cheng said...

haha.. mnarik.. mngajar aku bnde baru.. nk beli bnyk2 nenas ntuk sesorng.. lalalal...

ChE YaYA said...

hampeh!